Saturday 19 February 2011

The Silence of God

In the beginning the Word already existed.
The Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
(John 1:1)

"This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!" (Mark 9:7)

Living, speaking, breathing Word of God; everywhere in Scripture you speak, sometimes in thunder and great terror, sometimes in a still, small voice. From start to finish we are called to listen, and to listen well, so that we might truly live. You shout in the streets, you raise your voice in the public squares, calling out “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!" (Mark 9:7)

Living Word, pre-existent, co-existent, God; Why are you so hard to hear?

You say to us that you are the good shepherd, that you have a voice and with it you speak! And your sheep hear it, know it, follow it. (John 10:1-5) Why are you so hard to hear?

Is it our ears that are the problem? You are scattering the seed of the Word, and you see so many of our ears becoming like the stony ground, or the path, or the weed patch; and there is no fruit. But have mercy on us, oh Lord! We are caught amid a daily barrage of words misused, twisted, and malformed.

Here, “words are forced to make promises they cannot keep. Words are chosen not for their truthfulness but for their seductiveness. What they mean is besides the point. What they seem to mean is all that counts.” (B. Taylor, When God is Silent, 9) Here, we are bombarded by an ever proliferating number of words every day. Today the English language contains some 600,000 words, four times as many as Elizabethan English. Here, Lord, from the moment we wake to the moment we go to sleep we are buried in an avalanche of words; newspapers, advertisements, radio, tv, email, text messages, facebook, twitter.

Living, speaking, breathing Word of God; we confess that we have allowed ourselves to become hard of hearing. We have learned “to filter out words that are not necessary to our lives the same way we learn to sleep in a house near railroad tracks. Our brains protect us from the daily barrage of words by increasing our resistance to them.” (B Taylor, 14) And somehow our filters have kept out not just words, but the Word, as necessary to life as breathing. And so we die, in little ways in every day.

Our ears are a problem. And yet, Lord, and yet. Though I am but dust and ashes, allow me to speak before your mercy. (Augustine, Confessions 1.6) Are you yourself not speaking less, and less loudly, than you have at other times? Merciful One, turn your face towards us in kindness, for are we not already staggering from north to south, from sea to sea, searching for for the Word of the Lord? Are we not consumed by famine, not of food or thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the Lord? (Amos 8:11)

We thirst and hunger, and wonder why, Lord. But what would happen if, in a culture as noisy and polluted by words as ours, you would speak as loudly as the other voices, and whenever we wanted you to? What if you would choose to compete with the noise? Would we not swiftly transform you into a commodity? Would we not domesticate you, the Living Word by whom all things were created, just as soon as we could manage it, and would we not turn you into an accessory to our own chosen lifestyles?

You are most high, most excellent, most potent, most omipotent; you are most merciful and most just, most hidden and most near, most beautiful and most strong; (Confessions 1.4) You have created us in your own image, and all too often we have returned the favor. Holy One, we confess that if you were to compete with the noise we would treat you in the same way we treat the menu at McDonalds. We would live our lives during the week as we’d want to and then, if and when the hunger hits us, perhaps on a Sunday morning, we’d swing through church for a quick dose of the Word, just as much of You and just the aspects of You that we’re in the mood for. But it would not be you; it would be an idol we order, our very own customized off the menu. But You are not an item in a drive through menu.

Living, speaking, breathing Word of God; you do not suffer anyone to dictate the terms of Your involvement in their lives. You will have us only on Your own terms; Holy is He. To protect us and Yourself against our idolatrous attempts to use You for our own agendas, you withdraw behind a veil of silence.

You are the good shepherd who speaks to his sheep. Is it only to protect against our idolatry that you withdraw? Do you not also withdraw so that we will follow you into that silence? For your veil of silence is just that; a veil, and not a wall. Are we ever ready to hear what you have to say to us if we do not first listen to the silence?

Living, speaking, breathing Word of God, most gracious and most merciful, source of all Life; you do speak to us, and I remember… It was a night of anxiety and exhaustion. For over 8 months now Kendra and I have been loving Rachel Amariah, the daughter you’ve blessed us with. And for over 8 months now we’ve also been bracing ourselves for her death, which could come at any time. At 8 months old, she is still just over 7 pounds. We never know what the next day or hour will bring. And this waiting is hard; have mercy, Oh Lord, we are exhausted.

But I remember… It had been a particularly difficult week of waiting, bracing ourselves for the blow that might come at any time, and Friday night found me pacing the house, unable to sit down and relax or focus. So, I went for a walk in the silence of the night. Haven’t you created me to pray deepest and best, and hear most well, when I am walking? You saw me walking and pouring out my soul to you, following you into the silence. And you spoke into the depths of my soul. “You can trust me, David. I know what’s best. Come, trust me, and rest.” Good Shepherd, you do make me lie down in green pastures, you lead me beside still waters; you restore my soul. But before I could hear you, I had to follow you into the silence.

Living, speaking, breathing Word of God; To protect us and Yourself against our idolatrous attempts to use You for our own agendas, You withdraw behind a veil of silence. And You withdraw so that we will follow You into that silence, for only when we first listen to the silence are we ready to hear You.

“Speak to me that I may hear. See, Lord, the ears of my heart are before you. Open them and ‘say to my soul, I am your salvation.’ When I hear these words I will run and lay hold on you. Hide not your face from me. Let me die in seeing your face, lest I die in longing to.” (Augustine, 1.5)

“Why do you spend money for what is not bread, And your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And delight yourself in abundance. "Incline your ear and come to Me. Listen, that you may live.” (Isa 55:2-3)

2 comments:

Valerie Ruth said...

awesome - thanks for that!

Anonymous said...

Well said!